That new feeling at the start of a relationship – you know the one where you’re both obsessed with each other – can’t last forever. We give it seven months, tops.
Once you pass the new relationship stages of mystery and excitement you sail firmly into the territory that requires acceptance of each other’s preferences and snoring issues.
Welcome to the world of relaxed hygiene and warfare over who forgot the teabags on that weekend.
1. Each other’s bowel movements
You both discuss your poo in more detail than you would even with your doctor, or even your mum.
You also both admire the beauty of finding each other attractive, even after one of you reveals that jalapeños make your poo smell like petrol.
2. Exactly how spicy you have your Nando’s
It’s not about how long you’ve been together, but just how accurately you know their spice tolerance in Nando’s. Also their Peri-Peri sauce preference.
3. That sexy underwear isn’t necessary
Yeah so those sexy CK’s or that La Senza corset have now been reserved for yearly anniversaries, birthdays and other special occasions.
4. Each other’s horrific medical issues
When medical calamities occur you know you can rely on your other half to be there for you. Like the time your toenail fell off from a fungal infection and they got you those Spongebob Squarepants plasters you like.
5. No trip away is complete without an argument
The pressure to make the trip Instagram perfect will become too much and there will be a meltdown over who was meant to pack the Green teabags.
6. A special dance routine
Nowhere near as impressive as something from Bollywood, but only reserved for drunken times and holidays.
7. Each other’s drink limit
You know that exact grey area between them being drunk enough to re-enact the aforementioned dance routine and projectile vomiting all over your new Ikea bookshelf.
8. Sexual preferences
More Bridget Jones than 50 Shades and you couldn’t be happier.
9. Spooning isn’t fun, or required
At first you thought you both wanted to snuggle all night long. Then slowly you realised that you had both been plotting your escape so you could finally get a good sleep
10. Showering isn’t that important
Once you’ve smelt each other’s morning breath and cleaned up their vomit you relax a little on the hygiene front.
11. Romantic gestures are replaced by realistic ones
Flowers have now become pancake mix. Cute cards have become memes.
12. You have a secret language
A full-blown language of secret inside jokes, phrases, hand and eye gestures that not even MI5 could decipher.
13. That you wouldn’t want to be with anyone else
You’ve been through the excitement of a new relationship, and although those stages were amazing you love how well connected you both are now. And anyway, who else could you discuss your poo with?